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Chapter 1
Gouged Eyes and Severed Arms Shock the Jianghu
If you want to divide the world into two kinds of people, these are the two kinds of people that exist in the world:
The first kind is smart people.
The other kind is idiots.
There are many smart people in the martial world, but there are even more idiots.
Furthermore, some seem to be extremely intelligent but are actually certified, grade-A idiots.
Similarly, some people seem to reside at the borderline of competency but are fundamentally not the least bit stupid, and can intelligently manage their lives.
A truly intelligent person naturally can usually acquire more happiness, more blessings.
As for the idiots, they are forever ignorantly unaware of their own stupidity and stop at no means to chase after wealth and power, ultimately ending up with nothing.
All of this perhaps has nothing to do with this story.
But it’s like a light snack before a meal, worth slowly chewing over carefully.
The story proper is about to begin.
Hopefully the beginning won’t be disgustingly, nauseatingly gory, because the odd thing that happened in Wind Chime Pavilion was really quite bloody and really terrible.
× × ×
Ten miles outside Chang’an City there was a little town called Little Chang’an.
It was nowhere near comparable to Chang’an City, but there was a famous tavern there, Wind Chime Pavilion.
Wind Chime Pavilion wasn’t famous because its food and drink were particularly good, nor because it has an intoxicatingly beautiful proprietress.
It’s because of the really bizarre thing that once happened there.
× × ×
The day the bizarre event took place was the sixth day of the sixth month last year.
Wind Chime Pavilion’s shopkeeper, Xin the Third, will never forget the way the first customer who came in that day paid for his bill.
The customer was a bearded man. One look at the man’s fist and Xin the Third got goosebumps.
Because the man said to him, “Shopkeep, I already drank your wine, but I don’t have any money. All I have is this fist. What do you think we should do?”
Xin the Third stared at the man’s huge fist and his face blanched. How could he demand payment?
But the man shook his head. “The bill can’t go unpaid. Take my fist for pork and it’d be worth some money. I’ll cut it off and pay my bill with that, what do you say?”
Xin the Third thought the man was messing with him in order to intimidate him.
But then he really took a big machete from his belt and chopped off his left fist.
The man clenched his teeth, his face even more pale than Xin the Third’s. “Keep good hold of this fist, don’t lose it.”
Then he staggered out of Wind Chime Pavilion.
It was a long time before Xin the Third’s fright subsided, and he didn’t dare ignore what the man had said. He carefully placed the fist in a porcelain vessel and stored it properly.
About an hour later another customer came who had no money to pay his wine bill.
This guy was much shorter than the first guy and was an old scholarly type in his fifties.
The old scholar said to Xin the Third, “I definitely don’t have any money for the wine, but I can cut my nose off to use as collateral.”
Xin the Third was once again shocked.
However, he didn’t believe the old scholar would really do it.
Xin the Third, with a smile, was about to say a few words when a bloody nose suddenly dropped onto the counter.
Xin the Third nearly fainted at the sight of the gentle, refined scholar’s now bloody face that now lacked a nose.
Before he left, the old scholar said, “Preserve this nose well. When I have money I will return to redeem it.”
Xin the Third mumbled, “Lunatics! Lunatics! These people coming here to drink today are all lunatics!”
× × ×
Oddly enough, the lunatics kept coming one after another.
Until sundown, by which time Xin the Third had amassed three fists, two noses, three pairs of ears, and two legs.
This incident made a stir throughout Little Chang’an.
It not only made a stir in Little Chang’an, but it caused a sensation throughout the entire martial world.
Because the man who had cut off his fist was the number-one bandit of Changbai Mountain, Demon Fist Linghu Ye.
The old scholar who lopped of his nose was even more well known. He was the head of Mount Hua School’s Seven Swordsmen, Great Chiliocosm Divine Sword Fang Xu.
The others who came and cut off their ears or nose or leg were all famous heroes of the martial world.
These men could normally stamp their feet and shake the whole world into chaos, so how powerful of a person would it take to make these martial world heroes obediently leave a fist or nose?
Of course, no one believed they really were crazy.
Because if one or two people went mad, that was understandable. But a dozen men at the same time, doing the same thing, there must be something behind it. There was no way a dozen men went crazy at the same time.
What secret was this incident concealing?
× × ×
Some people in the jianghu will never get married, take a wife and raise kids.
Because they deal with Death every day. If they had a wife and kids, they would be afraid to die.
The more afraid you are of death, the quicker you die.
And in their profession, you absolutely cannot fear death.
Because this profession is killing. Either kill your enemy or be killed by your enemy.
Actually, those they kill are not really enemies because there’s not the least bit of enmity between them.
As long as you can pay, professional killers will kill for you whoever you want.
It’s just like hiring a hunter to hunt wild game for you, there’s no difference.
Kill a wild animal and it will bleed.
Kill a man and he will bleed as well.
In a professional killer’s eyes, neither human blood nor animal blood are worth pitying.
Not worth pitying is another matter.
But that blood can earn a profit.
Especially human blood, which is often much more valuable.
So, Sima Xue, who used to hunt wild animals, now has changed his profession and no longer hunts wild animals.
He switched to professional killer.
His change was no doubt greatly welcomed by the birds and beasts of the world.
But in the society of men, it was a cause for the utmost grief.
× × ×
In a few short years, Sima Xue had become the most feared professional killer in the jianghu.
For other experts in the field, Sima Xue was simply a thorn in their side.
Many looking for a hitman now only came looking for Sima Xue.
Because Sima Xue could kill anyone.
Even those who other professional killers could not or dared not kill, Sima Xue could kill.
Killing, no doubt, was an exceedingly bountiful profession.
But although Sima Xue made a lot of money, he spent even more.
Especially at Huge Fortune Gambling Den. He spent so much money it was shocking, and aside from a few young masters from wealthy families who carried a million in cash around with them, there were few people who had the guts to gamble with him.
To gamble you not only had to have money, you also had to have guts.
A person with the guts to gamble doesn’t necessarily have money, and a person with money doesn’t necessarily have the guts to gamble.
But Sima Xue had both.
He had an endless amount of money to gamble, and the more he lost the more fearlessly he gambled.
Sima Xue waged stakes ruthlessly, but his luck was never good.
In the span of a few months he would lose at least 200,000 taels of silver.
But Huge Fortune’s manager was not the least bit worried.
Of course he wasn’t worried.
First, he wasn’t worried that Sima Xue would run out of money. Though he whored and gambled, he was a capable man. If he lost it all he would just do a few jobs. Who had better income than he?
Second, he was not worried that Sima Xue kept on losing. Because the more Sima Xue lost, the more he won.
Everyone who ran a gambling den would welcome an inveterate gambler like Sima Xue inside their establishment.
× × ×
It was late at night. Those who ought to be sleeping had long since gone to bed.
But inside Huge Fortune, Sima Xue was not at all sleepy. Because he was now getting ready to place his largest bet on a game of pai gow.
Gambling with him was a handsome man the same age and good health as him.
Sima Xue knew this man.
Because he was one of the Three Great Marvelous Xia that had become the most famous in the jianghu over the past decade, and he was the third young master of the eminent Long clan out of Jinan prefecture in Shandong, the Snowblade Vagabond Long Chengbi.
Though the Long clan was a distinguished family, within the martial world they had had no significant status.
But that all changed once Long Chengbi turned twenty and left home to roam around.
Before that, no one could have guessed that the Long clan’s Eight Dragon Sabreplay was so formidable.
But Long Chengbi was crystal clear on it. Using action in reply to everyone in the martial world——the Eight Dragon Sabreplay, every move profound and wide-ranging and powerful, enough to eliminate every degenerate scum in the martial world.
The Long clan possessed a great sabre.
The once-famous precious sabre, Illusive Dragon.
But Long Chengbi didn’t use the precious Illusive Dragon. What he used was the Blizzard Blade, given to him by the extraordinary Old Blizzard of the North Pole.
Comparatively, as a sabre, Blizzard was not as precious or valuable as Illusive Dragon.
But if we’re talking killing, then Blizzard was way better than Illusive Dragon.
Sima Xue already knew all about Long Chengbi’s background.
But what he never anticipated was that the Snowblade Vagabond would come here tonight to play pai gow with him, and what’s more, would lose 150,000 taels of silver.
Thirty-two black dominoes lay on the long gambling table.
Long Chengbi was dealing.
But there was not a single tael of silver in front of him.
Sima Xue had no silver in his hands either, but he did have a thick stack of silver bank notes.
Long Chengbi said, “It’s getting late, everyone wants to rest. This will be the last round.”
Sima Xue nodded, not disagreeing.
He just smiled. “Are you dealing or me?”
Long Chengbi thought for a moment, then pushed the dice and dominoes over to Sima Xue. “This time you deal.”
Sima Xue was a bit surprised. “Why do you want to give up your right to deal?”
There’s a popular saying that: “Every gambler wants to be dealer, and one must have guts and capital to match.”
Especially when it came to pai gow. If everyone had identical dominoes, the dealer wins, a really advantageous position to be in.
But Long Chengbi was giving it up.
He smiled faintly. “I’m not dealing because I’m out of silver notes.”
Sima Xue gasped. “But I trust you. Whatever you say you’re good for, I’ll bet right along with you.”
Long Chengbi smiled.
He suddenly pointed at Sima Xue’s stack of silver notes. “If I want to bet all your silver notes, are you still going to stick to what you just said?”
Sima Xue’s eyes shone, but he said slowly, “Yes!”
Long Chengbi rolled up his sleeves and, unhurried, said, “A lot of people in the jianghu talk shit about you behind your back, but today it seems you are a friend worth having.”
Sima Xue’s face was blank, showing no expression.
Long Chengbi added, “At least, you’re a worthy friend at the gambling table.”
Sima Xue clapped his hands and sneered, “Are you here to gamble or make friends?”
Long Chengbi cocked an eyebrow. “Of course I’m here to gamble. If I wanted to make friends I’d try everything to get to know a pretty lady, why would I want to come to this hot, stinking place of all places to get to know a rotten compulsive gambler?”
Actually, rotten compulsive gamblers were nothing to fear.
But if that rotten compulsive gambler were also a coldblooded killer, then that was a completely different story.
× × ×
At present, at Huge Fortune Gambling Den, the calls and yells for one’s number to come up had largely died down, and the gambling tables in the hall were cleared out.
Now, everyone who still didn’t want to leave was gathered around the pai gow table watching Long Chengbi and Sima Xue’s high stakes bet.
The two of them’s wagers made other high stakes gamblers blanch every time, and those betting became less and less.
Because when these others bet, they bet over ten thousand silver bank notes, so how could those insufferably arrogant gamblers who normally bet a thousand or several hundred have any right to sneer now?
Especially this bet. Sima Xue accepted Long Chengbi’s all-in bet on his word, and even if the the silver notes in Sima Xue’s hand right now was not equal to 500,000, it was not far off.
High stakes gambling like this had probably never been tried even by Father Emperor.
× × ×
Every person stared intently at the pai gow game.
Suddenly, Long Chengbi took and aged-bronze handled sabre and set it on the table.
This move made everyone watching quite nervous; even the gambling den boss was astounded.
Gambling and fighting were forever inseparable matters.
A person who was able to go his whole life gambling without every fighting someone was a person with extremely good gambling etiquette.
Fortunately, Long Chengbi hadn’t shown his sabre to fight.
Sima Xue’s expression was more relaxed than anyone else’s, and more calm.
Because he long since knew that Long Chengbi wasn’t the sort to casually pick a fight.
Long Chengbi stroked the handle of the sabre and said to Sima Xue, “Your Excellency has a good eye. You probably know this sabre’s background?”
Sima Xue eyed him a few times, seemingly seeing what he was trying to say.
“Is it possible that Great Xia Long is thinking of wagering this Blizzard Blade?”
Long Chengbi smiled. “You think it’s worth 500,000 taels of silver?”
When he said this, one of the spectators couldn’t help but snicker.
Though no one else laughed, they were all thinking that this young Long guy was awfully arrogant. Even if an ordinary sabre like that was made entirely embedded with gemstones it still couldn’t be worth more than a few hundred thousand taels, right?
Who knew that Sima Xue didn’t even think about it, just nodded. “I guess this sabre on the whole is worth 500,000 taels.”
Everyone thought something was wrong with their ears when they heard Sima Xue say that.
Everyone looked at each other. Strange things happen year after year, but this year especially.
Long Chengbi laughed at once. “Brother Sima indeed does have good eyesight. To tell the truth, I don’t have anything on me, but I don’t want to renege on a bet if I lose. Since you think this sabre is worth 500,000 taels, I’ll use it as capital. If I win, you give me the silver notes in your hand. If I lose, then from this day forward, you are the new owner of this sabre.”
Sima Xue scratched his nose. “Alright, it’s settled then.”
× × ×
Pai gow was separated into big and small pai gow.
In big pai gow, everyone received four dominoes, two hands, front and rear. This was a bit milder form of gambling. Win the front hand and lose the rear or lose the front and win the rear and it’s a draw.
As for little pai gow, everyone gets two dominoes and there’s just one hand. If you win you win, lose you lose; there’s never any draw. This kind of gambling doesn’t require choosing whether you want to go with the bigger one in the front hand or keep the better tile for the rear. It’s simple, quick, and ferocious.
Sima Xue was a standard gambler. What he hated most was the word “tie”.
He believed that be it gambling or fighting winning meant winning all the way and losing meant losing all the way. “Tie” and “draw” were the most boring, uninteresting things in the world.
So, of course he was playing little pai gow.
No matter whose tiles were higher, whose were lower, the matter was settled as soon as the tiles were flipped over. Even a god or transcendent couldn’t change the outcome.
× × ×
Long Chengbi was the first to flip his tiles over.
One of the two tiles was the foo (tiger/ax), the other was the gor (goose).
🂌🁭
The foo and gor together were five points, not too high, but not low either.
Sima Xue frowned. “If you can get five points in little pai gow, then you’ll have no worries gambling the rest of your life.”
Long Chengbi naturally had no worries.
Even if it were a flat ten (zero points), he’d have no worries.
When gambling for money, if you’re afraid then don’t gamble. If you do gamble then don’t be afraid, just like a woman has no need to be afraid of giving birth after marrying.
So, those afraid of losing shouldn’t gamble.
It’s best if a woman who’s afraid to give birth doesn’t marry. Just go be a nun.
× × ×
The spectators watched as Sima Xue flipped over his first tile.
Four points.
It was a black-based white dotted bon (wooden bench).
🁳
Every pai gow gambler knew that a bon wasn’t good. Some called it “pai gow taboo”.
Because if this tile is paired with a six, seven, eight, nine, or ten, then the points accrued would be pitifully low.
Everyone began to get worried about Sima Xue’s hand.
What was the other tile in his hand.
No one knew, except for Sima Xue.
At last, Sima Xue turned over the other tile.
The crowd burst out in a disheartened sigh.
The tile was just a mooy (plum).
🂋
The two tiles together were only four points just losing to Long Chengbi’s five-point gor.
Sima Xue was not the least bit nervous but gently pushed the big stack of silver bank notes across the table to Long Chengbi. “These silver notes are yours now. And the sabre need not take on a new owner. Great Xia Long, your luck really is something!”
Long Chengbi smiled faintly. “But your luck really is a bit bad.”
Sima Xue said slowly, “In pai gow, winning or losing often comes down to one tile. I’ve long since gotten used to it.”
Long Chengbi suddenly lowered his voice, “At first light tomorrow morning, I’ll be waiting for you at Commander-in-Chief Pavilion.”
Sima Xue narrowed his eyes, as if he knew beforehand that he would say that.
× × ×
At first light of dawn, in the midst of a light fog, a person clad in white and wearing a golden sabre at the hip stood before Commander-in-Chief Pavilion, gazing out at the rising red sun in the east and heaving a long sigh.
Every day, they sun came out.
And every day the sun set.
Between the sunrise and sunset, people run around in drudgery their whole life, sunrise and sunset never ending. Even so, how man sunrises and sunsets can a person enjoy in their life?
This white-clad person wasn’t Long Chengbi or Sima Xue.
He was a bit younger than both of them, but his reputation within the jianghu was not a bit inferior to that of Long Chengbi or Sima Xue.
Because he was one of the Three Great Marvelous Xia of the martial world, along with Long Chengbi and Xu Qiaozhi, valleylord of Healer Valley.
Healer Valley had always been the most sacred, most mysterious place in the jianghu. No matter what illness or disease you contracted, as long as you’re still breathing, Healer Valley will find a way to cure your ailment.
In Healer Valley there are said to be a dozen physicians, every day continually researching the art of medicinal herbs. Their ability to treat patients had reached the realm of perfection.
× × ×
A gentle breeze puffed and puffed, morning mist beginning to vanish with the wind.
Before Commander-in-Chief Pavilion, Long Chengbi and Sima Xue arrived one after the other for their meeting.
As soon as Sima Xue saw Xu Qiaozhi, he immediately said, “Could that young man in white with the gold sabre be Xu Qiaozhi, valleylord of Healer Valley?”
Xu Qiaozhi mumbled, “We’re associates, you don’t need to ask if I’m Xu Qiaozhi or not, and I don’t need to ask if you’re in fact Sima Xue.”
“Associates?” Sima Xue gave a thin smile. “Great Xia Xu is the dignified valleylord of Healer Valley or celebrated renown. Who is Sima Xue to claim to be an associate of Valleylord Xu?”
Long Chengbi suddenly cut in, “Even if you weren’t associates before, starting now, things ought to change.”
Sima Xue sneered, “Based on what?”
Long Chengbi slowly withdrew a blood-red jade medallion from his sleeve. “Do you recognize this Flaming Cloud Jade Command Tally?”
The appearance of the Flaming Cloud Jade Command Tally, Sima Xue looked like he’d been stung by a few thousand wasps.
Xu Qiaozhi gave a thin smile and said to Sima Xue, “When the Flaming Cloud tally is shown, whether we’re in the south or in the north, we must for a line of battle and get to work!”
Sima Xue said, “Since Alliance Head dispatched the jade tally, what secret instructions does he have?”
Long Chengbi said, “Alliance Head orders us three to go kill someone.”
Sima Xue sad, “Kill who?”
Long Chengbi said, “Kill Ximen Piao.”
Sima Xue’s eyes fixed on Long Chengbi when he said that.
He never would have guessed that the person the alliance head was sending them to kill would turn out to be Ximen Piao!”
Alliance head? Who was the alliance head? What alliance head?
And what sort of person was Ximen Piao?
× × ×
The alliance head was the martial world alliance head.
The current martial world alliance head was one of the Twin Thearchs of the Central Plains, Flaming Cloud Thearch Dongfang Wuyou. When Dongfang Wuyou first ascended the throne of as alliance head, Long Chengbi et al., were still young kids attending school.
It was said that Dongfang Wuyou was not only the martial world alliance head, he was honestly tantamount to a god of the Central Plains martial world, stately, possessed of a boundless power veiled in mystery sufficient to rule the entire martial world.
And Ximen Piao was the other Twin Thearch of the Central Plains, called Callous Thearch.
Ximen Piao’s personality was reserved, expressionless. Dongfang Wuyou’s biggest disease in his vital organs—a danger from within was none other than the Callous Thearch.
But no matter what, Sima Xue never would have guessed why Dongfang Wuyou wouldn’t take action personally but instead order people to go assassinate Ximen Piao.
The real reason, Long Chengbi knew.
Xu Qiaozhi also knew.
Because Dongfang Wuyou had lost his martial arts and had become disabled.
Dongfang Wuyou losing his martial arts was a big deal.
At the same time, it was a big secret that only Long Chengbi and Xu Qiaozhi knew.
About half a month before, two richly dressed elders suddenly showed up in Healer Valley.
The two richly dressed elders were no ordinary people but were the Left and Right Elders of Flaming Cloud Palace.
The Left and Right Elders were Martial World Alliance Head Dongfang Wuyou’s most trusted followers. For them to arrive was naturally no small matter.
The result was the Left and Right Elders politely invited three of the most prestigious miracle doctors of Healer Valley to come to Flaming Cloud Palace.
Back then, Xu Qiaozhi didn’t go with them.
Three days later, the three miracle doctors returned.
On the fourth day, the three miracle doctors all surprisingly slit their own throats and died.
Xu Qiaozhi was greatly shocked as he opened a deathbed note the three miracle doctors had left behind. Turns out they felt ashamed that they were unable to cure the patient, and in their shame collectively took their own lives.
Afterward, Xu Qiaozhi was summoned by the Left and Right Elders of Flaming Cloud Palace to attend and audience with Martial World Alliance Head Dongfang Wuyou. Turns out the patient was none other than the martial world alliance head.
His astounding, awe-inspiring martial arts had been completely lost. This was really no small matter.
Why had Dongfang Wuyou’s martial arts suddenly been completely lost?
And why did he want to send Long Chengbi, Xu Qiaozhi, and Sima Xue to kill Ximen Piao?
× × ×
The jianghu’s Three Great Marvelous Xia, along with Long Chengbi and Xu Qiaozhi, also included Wei Kongkong.
Wei Kongkong, although no ricebag, was a wineskin worthy of the name.1
When he was happy, he could drink several jugs of burning blade2 and it not show on his face.
But when he was depressed he wouldn’t let a drop of alcohol touch his lips. Even the sight of alcohol would disgust him.
Others said drunkenness dispels a thousand sorrows.
But he believed the exact opposite: “Wine entering a sorrowful belly will make the sorrows even more real.”
So, if you see this person idle but not drinking, then you know he is in low spirits.
Wei Kongkong’s background was very mysterious. Ten years prior, his name had simply never been heard of before. But now, no matter who it was, if they heard the three words Wei Kongkong, they would be frightened.
The three words Wei Kongkong gave people a scare not because he was mean. On the contrary, Wei Kongkong was a person who was very easy to get along with and had a mild disposition.
But he had the biggest defect.
His defect was that late at night he liked to walk off with other people’s heads.
So people of the jianghu called him “the Great Head Stealing Xia”.
Could a homicidal murderer who specialized in stealing people’s heads really be called a great xia?
Yep, absolutely, because every head he stole was a scoundrel or evil villain who long ago ought to have had his head pulled or cut off.
As for the heads of good people, did he steal those?
Up to now, he had never taken one.
But whether or not he would steal a good person’s head in the future was really hard to say.
× × ×
Fu Sanyuan was not a person.
But was a dilapidated old inn that could collapse at any moment.
Wei Kongkong wasn’t wealthy, but he loved comfort and cleanliness. Whenever he arrived in a town he would always patronize the most lavish, most expensive-roomed inns.
Fu Sanyuan Inn was not only old and dilapidated, its beds and bedding gave off the stench of mildew. An inn like this was really not an ideal place to rest.
But Wei Kongkong had no other choice because Fu Sanyuan Inn was the only inn in the whole town.
Wei Kongkong’s horse was the ugliest horse in the world.
Now the horse was hitched up in the inn’s fodder barn.
Though the horse was ugly, it didn’t look a bit ugly when running.
This horse had been given to him by his master. His master once remarked about this horse that, “Aside from a precious blood-sweating horse, there’s no horse in the world that can run farther or faster than this one.”
Wei Kongkong had stared blankly at it. The horse was old and emaciated, not really like a horse at all but really just a big monkey.
Only after Wei Kongkong had ridden the horse and spurred it on did he finally let out an exclamation of admiration for the horse.
He had ridden many famed purebred Ferghana colts and spurred on many fine chargers, but they were all inferior to this ugly monkey-like horse. It was really utterly amazing.
This horse not only was fast, it had astonishing stamina, and it had another strong point, which was that you could be sure it wouldn’t be stolen by horse thieves.
A horse this ugly you couldn’t even give away to a horse dealer, so who would want to steal it?
× × ×
His room has a wooden table, and on the wooden table was a jar of wine.
The wine was sour, bitter, and more moldy than the inn.
Wei Kongkong only took half a swig before hurling the whole jar of wine out the window.
Actually, he didn’t want to drink wine anyway. Even if it had been the best jar of wine in the world he probably still would have done the same thing and throw it out the window.
Cut the river with a knife, yet the waters still flow. Raise this cup to cease sorrows, but all they do is grow.3
People drink when they’re in a good mood, and people drink when they’re in a bad mood. A person doesn’t necessarily get drunk when they drink wine, but when the wine drinks the person, then getting incredibly drunk is a given.
He was a wineskin, but in ten years he had not been drunk more than three times.
He liked drinking, but he didn’t like getting dead drunk.
With the wine jar thrown out the window, there was now no wine on the table.
But suddenly the wine jar flew back inside from the window and landed neatly on the wooden table.
Was he seeing a ghost?
Fortunately Wei Kongkong wasn’t afraid of ghosts. Sometimes he would even go to a graveyard in the middle of the night and stroll around, looking for a ghost.
He wanted to see just what ghosts were like.
Suddenly, two faces appeared outside the window.
The two faces were three-tenths like a person, seven-tenths like a ghost.
× × ×
Wei Kongkong wanted to see a ghost, but this time he was disappointed.
Because although the two faces looked seven-tenths like a ghost, in the end they were just human faces, because one of them said in a stern voice, “We’re people, not ghosts. Don’t get it twisted!”
Heh heh! These two ghost guys were self-aware, but talk like this was rather amusing.
Wei Kongkong was in a brooding mood, but on this rare occasion these wraith-like buffoons had showed up to cheer him up, so he laughed and said, “You two traveled a thousand miles, why not come in and have a seat?”
The ghostly face on the left said, “How do you know we traveled a thousand miles?”4
Wei Kongkong smiled and pointed at the two faces. “The Twin Ghosts Qiu of the North Mang Hills rarely leave North Mang. Isn’t here about a thousand and eight hundred-some miles away from North Mang?”
The two ghostly faces whistled strangely. “Bandit Wei really is discerning.” Having said that, the two gray-robed people leapt in in unison into the room.
Wei Kongkong’s nickname originally was Great Head Stealing Xia.
But as far as these unorthodox characters were concerned, this person who specialized in stealing people’s heads was no “great xia”.
So people of the dark path all called him big bandit, merciless Great Evil Bandit.
Great xia and great thief sometimes was not absolutely objective. A person you believe is a great xia in someone else’s eyes can turn into a great bandit.
Especially someone like Wei Kongkong, a great bandit among great bandits.
× × ×
In the jianghu, The Twin Ghosts Qiu of the North Mang Hills were only considered second-rate characters.
But if you were talking about guts, these two brothers were first-rate.
In their eyes, Wei Kongkong simply didn’t rate at all, despite the fact that they knew full well that Wei Konkong’s sword specialized in chopping people’s heads off.
Chopping off someone’s head is an advanced skill. When a good headsman’s blade comes down, the beheaded one’s head leaves his body at once. If one’s skill with the blade is not up to par, the beheaded one’s head will just be half-dangling off, half on. A really savage death.
When chopping off a head, the vast majority use a sabre.
Besides, a sabre blade is heavy, when chopping you use a big chopping blade with a lot of heavy force.
But when Wei Kongkong chopped off someone’s head, he only used a sword.
An ordinary, very ordinary sword, by no means some famous sword, and certainly not some precious sword that pare away iron like mud.
This kind of sword was certainly no problem if you wanted to behead a chicken, goose, or duck, but a sword like this was normally not qualified to chop of a person’s head.
Because a person’s bones were not as fragile. To chop through it with one stroke, an ordinary sword couldn’t manage it, and it was very possible that the entire sword could break.
But Wei Kongkong had a special kind of skill.
He always chopped off someone’s head with a single stroke. He never needed a second stroke.
Because when his sword chopped down, the person’s head would without a doubt fall to the ground at once, cleanly, never sloppily.
The Twin Qiu Ghosts brothers were over a hundred years old if you combined their ages, all things considered, a old hands of the jianghu. Even if they had never seen Wei Kongkong’s awesomeness, they ought to have heard of it.
But Wei Kongkong could not detect even the faintest trace of fluster from them. Rather, they were as cool and composed as could be.
Could it be they had a powerful backer?
The elder, Ghost Fan Qiu Chanhun let out a faint laugh and said, “I hear you have three good friends, the first called Long Chengbi, the second Xu Qiaozhi, right?”
Wei Kongkong just sighed. “Well, not necessarily. last year, Long Chengbi won ten taels of gold from me playing pai gow. Come to find out later he had been using lead-loaded dice. One less friend like that is alright.”
Qiu Chanhun was taken aback. But of course he didn’t know why Long Chengbi had used loaded dice that time to cheat Wei Kongkong.
That ingot of gold weighing ten taels had belonged to Daming prefecture’s treasury. Wei Kongkong had killed a notorious night-prowling robber and taken the gold off him. He had been ready to go exchange it at the silver bank for silver so he could buy wine, but he didn’t know that inside the silver bank it was already swarming with yamen constables.
If Long Chengbi’s hadn’t been so farsighted and noticed that the gold he had in hand was dirty, then Wei Kongkong would have been in big trouble.
Qiu Chanhun was pondering for a moment when the second, Ghost Claw Qiu Chanpo cut in, “In addition to Long Chengbi and Xu Qiaozhi, you have a third good friend that’s a little doll.”
Wei Kongkong didn’t deny it, and there was no reason to deny it.
Qiu Chanhun smiled eerily. “That little doll is a born beauty. If she’s not Master Wei’s sweetheart, then I’m afraid Old Second here will not be able to resist breaking his abstinence.”
Wei Kongkong’s expression was the same as before. His face didn’t sink one bit.
But his heart sank straight down to his feet. It was really about to sink into the ground.
Wei Kongkong indeed did have three good friends.
Those three people were Long Chengbi, Xu Qiaozhi, and Xue Xiyao.
Xue Xiyao was the prettiest Third Miss of Pearl Mountain Villa on Seven-layered Clouds and Mist Peak.
Xue Xiyao was not only Wei Kongkong’s bosom friend, they had already gotten engaged.
But now, from what the Twin Qiu Ghosts said, Xue Xiyao seemed to have fallen into their demonic hands.
Wei Kongkong only felt a ball of fire burning in his stomach.
They were raging flames, violent flames of anger.
But he didn’t change at all, didn’t even make a sound. He still spoke as if nothing was the matter, “I think I understand more or less why you two are here. Are you wanting to prod the bamboo carrying pole?”5
Qiu Chanhun let out a grating laugh. “We wouldn’t never ever dare prod Master Wei’s carrying pole, however there is a matter we need your help with, and that’s a fact.”
Wei Kongkong said flatly, “If I’m not willing to help, I guess Miss Xue will be out of luck, right?”
Qiu Chanpo said, “Master Wei is smart. Saying it directly is like boiling a crane or burning a zither, it just spoils the mood.”
Wei Kongkong chuckled. “I don’t know how to boil a crane, but I know a thing or two about boiling ghosts.”
Qiu Chanhun threw his back, laughing. “Second Bro, don’t play with Master Wei, let’s get down to business.”
Qiu Chanpo held his hands behind his back as he strolled around. “Master Wei’s swordplay is without equal. All you have to do is chop off two people’s heads for us and Xue Xiyao will at once be safe and sound, will regain her freedom, and you will receive an astonishing amount of wealth.”
Wei Kongkong’s eyes lit up. “How much wealth are we talking about?”
Qiu Chanhun interjected, “Ten thousand taels of gold.”
Qiu Chanpo said, “If Master Wei thinks it’s not enough, we can still talk it over.”
Wei Kongkong sighed. “If you two are looking for a hitman, you’ve come to the wrong person. Why don’t you go see Wu Jiuqing, Huo Heixin, or some other professional hitman? It wouldn’t cost near as much either.”
Qiu Chanhun roared with laughter. “How good are professional hitmen like Wu Jiuqing and Huo Heixin? Even if we offered ten million taels of gold they probably wouldn’t survive to collect it.”
Wei Kongkong said, “In that case, it seems the people you want me to kill are extremely tough customers.”
Qiu Chanpo said, “They would be tough for other masterhands, but for Master Wei, they aren’t a bit tough.”
Wei Kongkong thought for a moment, then finally said, “Who are these two?”
Qiu Chanhun said, “The first is Long Chengbi.”
Qiu Chanpo said, “The second is Xu Qiaozhi.”
Long Chengbi!
Xu Qiaozhi!
The people the Twin Qiu Ghosts wanted Wei Kongkong to kill was none other than the other two of the Three Great Marvelous Xia of the Jianghu.
× × ×
Wei Kongkong’s face finally changed.
It became nervously pale. Even his fingers were trembling.
It wasn’t fear or panic but indignance, extreme indignance.
These two old beasts, three-tenths like a person, seven-tenths like a ghost, had actually kidnapped Xue Xiyao, and in addition had sweetly offered a lot of money for him to go chop off Long Chengbi and Xu Qiaozhi’s heads.
There were a lot of bastards in the world, and a lot of hateful happenings, but this was ten million times more bastardly and hateful than anything else.
The Twin Qiu Ghosts were not at all clear on Wei Kongkong was thinking.
But they were clear on one point: even if Wei Kongkong were not willing to kill Long Chengbi and Xu Qiaozhi, he would certainly not dare to bother them.
Because Wei Kongkong’s sweetheart, Xue Xiyao, was right now indeed in their hands. Even if Wei Kongkong had even more gall, he would absolutely never act rashly.
So the Twin Qiu Ghosts from the North Mang Hills right now were brimming with confidence and were utterly calm.
They were waiting for Wei Kongkong’s reply.
But they would never have imagined that Wei Kongkong’s reply would be his heaven and earth shaking Head Chopping Swordplay.
× × ×
Head Chopping Swordplay.
Unrivaled in the world, a ruthless swordplay, the most domineering swordplay.
This swordplay wasn’t the fasted swordplay in the world, but it had the most difficult sword stroke in the world to avoid.
This stroke’s name was “Execution Ground Beheading”!
Qiu Chanhun saw the flash of sword light and knew it was bad. A ghost fan one span, four digits long was drawn and spread open at once.
The ghost fan was the unusual weapon Qiu Chanhun had been diligently training with since he was twelve years old. Once the fan opened it immediately shot out seven poisonous spines.
The poison these spines were dipped in was ten million times more toxic that cyanide. If one struck you, even if it just barely grazed the skin, you would die on the spot, no saving you.
But Wei Kongkong’s sword, in the end, was a step quicker than Qiu Chanhun’s fan.
The ghost fan was open, but the forceful, domineering sword stroke “Execution Grounds Beheading” split the fan in two.
The seven poisonous spines had shot out, but the sword stroke had slammed into them and altered their trajectories, and they all embedded into the bedding.
But Wei Kongkong’s sword didn’t alter its trajectory one bit.
Because this was the Execution Grounds Beheading stroke, not the Execution Grounds Fan-Splitting stroke.
His vow was never to retract his sword unless Qiu Chanhun’s head was chopped off.
Old Second, Qiu Chanpo wanted to step in to save Elder’s life, but then the ghastly sword qi flapped and fluttered his sleeves, leaving no room for him to get involved.
Qiu Chanhun in this instant was truly overcome with vertigo and was scared out of his senses. He never dreamed that Wei Kongkong, with no regard for anything, would suddenly unleash his killing stroke.
The result was that the afterimage of the sword whipped by and Qiu Chanhun’s head fell at the sound of the strike and fell into the bedding.
By coincidence, the head fell onto one of the poisonous spines and in an instant the dead man’s head was devastated once more, swelling up and turning a purplish black color.
Qiu Chanhun’s head turned purplish black.
But Qiu Chanpo’s face turned whiter than a sheet of paper.
He wanted to flee, but he didn’t dare flee because he knew that his legs were absolutely not as fast as We Kongkong’s sword.
He wanted to act, but he didn’t dare act either because he knew that with his skill, he had absolutely not even a bit of confidence that he could defeat Wei Kongkong.
Now, Qiu Chanpo was regretful.
He regretted he had heeded others’ instigations too much. If he had known, he and his big brother would have just stayed in the North Mang Hills the rest of their lives, and they would have been ten million times better off than now.
But regretting it only now was a step too late.
If at first they had been able to refuse money and desires of the flesh, the Twin Ghosts of North Mang would never have fallen to such a state as this.
But how many people in the world could resist kneeling before wealth and beautiful women?
× × ×
The sword in Wei Kongkong’s continually dripped blood.
Qiu Chanpo’s ghostly face now was at least nine-tenths like a ghost.
Wei Kongkong suddenly sighed and muttered, “I didn’t want to kill anyone today. Why did you all have to barge in here and force me to draw my sword?”
Qiu Chanpo, voice trembling, shouted, “Bandit bastard, chop my head off as well if you can, but don’t forget that Xue Xiyao is still in our hands.”
Wei Kongkong heaved a long sigh. “You all miscalculated this whole thing. If you wanted me to kill, it might not have been a problem as long as it wasn’t Long Chengbi or Xu Qiaozhi. Since Xue Xiyao is in your hands, even if you wanted me to kill myself it’s not necessarily impossible, but using this to coerce me into killing two of my good friends, well then you might as well sink the pearl and smash the jade6 and we can all go see King Yama for him to judge who’s right and wrong.”
Qiu Chanpo’s ghostly face was now 100% like a ghost; even the little bit of human blood color in his face vanished cleanly.
Wei Kongkong suddenly said sadly, “Actually, I don’t necessarily have to kill you, and you don’t necessarily have to die. Since things have come to this, why don’t we make a trade? What do you say?”
Qiu Chanpo breathed in and out over and over. Finally he nodded. “What kind of trade?”
Wei Kongkong said flatly, “Use your head in exchange for one question.”
Qiu Chanpo said, “What do you want to ask?”
The tip of Wei Kongkong’s sword slowly rose. He sneered, “Who ordered you to do this?”
Qiu Chanpo was keyed up at once. “No one ordered us, us brothers wanted to do it.”
A sharp gleam flashed across Wei Kongkong’s eyes. Angry, he said, “If you deny it again and refuse to say who is behind your orders, then I guarantee your head will immediately turn into a bottle gourd rolling on the ground.
Qiu Chanpo’s face was terror-stricken, hesitating.
Wei Kongkong already had his sword ready at his neck. This Qiu Ghost who dominated the North Mang Hills was now fish meat on the chopping block.
Qiu Chanpo said finally, “Alright, I’ll talk…”
Suddenly, powerful crossbow bolt shot in through the window and penetrated Qiu Chanpo’s throat.
Qiu Chanpo couldn’t even get out a groan; he at once dropped like a headless chicken.
Wei Kongkong’s expression changed and he sprang up and out the window.
Another crossbow bolt came flying, straight for Wei Kongkong’s chest.
Wei Kongkong’s hand turned over and sword flourishes7 knocked the crossbow bolt to the ground.
A masked person in white was hiding atop of a large banyan tree, crossbow in hand.
Wei Kongkong sneered, “Who’s that sneaking around over there? All you can do is shoot from hiding to get rid of witnesses?”
The masked person in white laughed like an owl. “If you don’t kill Long Chengbi and Xu Qiaozhi, you’ll regret it.”
Wei Kongkong’s visage was frost. He said sharply, “I never regret what I do.”
The masked person in white suddenly jumped a stave out and fluttered down from the top of the banyan tree, turned and ran away.
Wei Kongkong was not going to let him off. He immediately opened up his Windchaser footwork and went right after him.
The masked man in white laughed wildly, “Chopping off heads is your area of expertise, but when it comes to lightness skill, you couldn’t catch me if you trained for three hundred years.”
Wei Kongkong was originally not about to believe any of his enemy’s nonsense.
But now he couldn’t help but believe it. The masked man in white’s lightness skill really was incredible. Wei Kongkong kept losing ground the longer he gave chase, and in the end he watched helplessly as his enemy disappeared into the woods.
Wei Kongkong stopped woodenly, wondering if his own lightness skill had regressed and was now not worth a thing?
Of course the answer was absolutely not.
Within the jianghu, when it came to lightness skill, Wei Kongkong was a first-rate master. His Windchaser footwork was good enough to keep up with a sprinting black panther.
However, a black panther sprinted quickly, but it didn’t have much stamina. And Wei Kongkong’s latent stamina was the equivalent of about fifty black panthers.
But he still couldn’t catch up with that mysterious masked person in white.
There were only three or four people in the world with such astonishing lightness skill as that masked person in white had.
Wei Kongkong stood under a large tree and muttered, “Doesn’t matter how fast you run, one day I will chop off your head and get a good look at your face.”
Running fast was admittedly a skill.
The ability to chop of the head of any person was an even more remarkable skill.
Elaphure deer run fast.8 But sometimes cannot escape the tiger’s surprise attack.
× × ×
Dongfang Wuyou’s order to kill Ximen Piao was a very important, very secret affair.
Ximen Piao had always been bursting with ambition, wanting to snatch the martial world alliance head throne from Dongfang Wuyou. Long Chengbi knew this quite clearly.
Ximen Piao was savage and cruel and rapacious and intrepid. If the throne of the martial world alliance head was in his hands, the aftermath would be dreadful to contemplate.
Xu Qiaozhi also knew that they could not let Ximen Piao fulfill his desires no matter what.
And Sima Xue?
What did he think about all this?”
Right now, the three of them had arrived at Henan’s Phoenix Brook at a tavern three miles outside of Bamboo Wave restaurant.
× × ×
Henan’s Bamboo Wave restaurant was a nice, quiet, tasteful spot with gorgeous scenery.
And the owner of Bamboo Wave was an hospitable, honest and sincere, noble, dignified old man.
When Long Chengbi and company arrived in Henan, the first thing Xu Qiaozhi said was, “We’re here in Henan, but it’s really a shame we have no free time to go have a chat at Bamboo Wave.”
Long Chengbi smiled. “Once we dispose of Ximen Piao you can go live in reclusion at Bamboo Wave if you want, but right now we’ll have to forgo a meeting for now.
Only Sima Xue seemed to have absolutely no interest in Bamboo Wave.
This person’s biggest interest wasn’t enjoying nice scenery, but was about how to make money killing people, then how to spend money in pursuit of a rush, and happiness.
But at this time, the the customers in the tavern were just in the middle of talking about a matter of killing someone.
The owner of Bamboo Wave, early in the morning, had his head made off with, dying in the restaurant.
Made off with his head!
In all the world, aside from Wei Kongkong, who else stole people’s heads like that?
But why would Wei Kongkong want to steal the head of a decent old man like him?
Long Chengbi couldn’t help saying loudly, “There’s no way the person who stole that head was him.”
Sima Xue said flatly, “If not him, then who?”
Xu Qiaozhi frowned. “He steals the heads of anyone, but he never steals the head of a good person.”
Sima Xue sneered again.
Suddenly, outside the doors of the tavern, a young man clad in blue led a monkey-like horse, slowly strolling over.
This person, astonishingly, was Wei Kongkong.
Sima Xue smiled faintly. “The head thief has arrived.”
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Notes
- Ricebag and wineskin both mean someone who is useless, a good-for-nothing. All they can do is eat and drink.
- 燒刀子. Refers to distilled colorless spirits (alcohol) made from sorghum, rice, or wheat. So named because it burns, “cuts” your throat when you drink it.
- This is a line from a poem by Li Bai called “Bidding Farewell to Secretary Yun at Xie Tiao Villa in Xuanzhou”. I happened to have translated this before. Here’s my rendition:
Yesterday left me, I couldn’t hold it back.
Today vexes me, won’t cut me any slack.
Autumn geese are sent off by distant wind,
On the terrace I raise my cup to them again.
Your writing has the Jian’an spirit,
And Xie Tiao’s fresh creative eyes.
We both seek soaring thoughts,
As if we’d grasp the moon up in the sky.
Cut the river with a knife, yet the waters still flow,
Raise this cup to cease sorrows, but all they do is grow.
In this life it’s like nothing’s as we hope,
- These are Chinese “miles” by the way. 里. Originally was the equivalent of 300 paces, but later came to be about 1/2 a km or 1/3 of a mi.
- Extort money.
- Refers to a woman dying. He’s saying just kill her then.
- 劍花. Literally means “sword flowers”. This matches nicely with the English word “flourish” which literally means “flower”. The term refers to waving the sword around in different patterns, as if one is drawing patterns in the air. “Flower” (花 hua) in Chinese also means “patterns”. “Flourish” also means waving a weapon around.
- 麋鹿. Commonly known as Père David’s deer. Elaphurus davidianus.