Chapter 3
The Twin Treasures of Yunmeng
In the west side court there were two rows of rooms but only one was currently lit up.
The waiter pointed, “That’s His Excellency Bai’s room. He wanted peace and quiet so he booked the entire side court.”
Sheng Jian nodded. “Alright, Go on, I understand.”
Just after the waiter turned and left, a young man in white appeared at the top of the steps in front of the room, smiling.
Sheng Jian walked up and regarded the man in white and with a cupped fist salute said hesitantly, “Dear brother, in the past we…”
The man in white smiled. “In the past we what?”
Sheng Jian’s eyes suddenly went wide and he blurted out, “Heheh! So it’s… it’s… it’s Big Sister!”
This surely was a surprise. He never dreamed that this Excellency Bai who had him all suspicious was actually none other than the Sister As You Wish he longed to see day and night!
Ordinarily, something like this would not happen, right? Under current circumstances, who else but this woman would book and entire side courtyard just to invite him over to have a drink?
How many of his friends were so bold and uninhibited?
And the waiter had relayed the message with the clear implication that if he did not go, that person would leave, because their time is very precious—
Who else except this woman was qualified to say something like that to him?
All because he’d just done something he felt guilty about, he wasn’t able to focus for a time, and so when he heard the waiter deliver the invitation he forgot about the one person he ought to have thought of first.
But what was done was done, don’t think about it. Now that this woman had appeared, everything was fine.
Sister As You Wish on the steps, having traded her hairpin for a man’s cap, saw Dagger Within a Smile Sheng Jian staring dumbstruck at her, and she couldn’t help but chuckle. “What? Is there something on my face?”
Sheng Jian blinked. “Huh?”
Sister As You Wish laughed, “Or else why do you keep staring at me?”
Sheng Jian snapped out of it and took a deep breath. “My wonderful Big Sister, you really did miss me!”
He looked around and said softly, “Come come come, quick quick, get inside, I’ll close the doors—”
Sister As You Wish pinched him hard and with a low voice said, “Look at how impatient you are!”
Sheng Jian was taken aback and lightly stamped his foot. “Ai ai, my wonderful granny, I speak so decently, yet you always take it the wrong way, you’re killing me!”
Sister As You Wish gave him the side-eye. “Decently?”
Sheng Jian reached out and nudged her while apologizing, “Okay okay, whatever you say, take it however you want, let’s get inside and talk!”
Food and drink were already laid out on the table in the room.
Sheng Jian sat and looked around the room. “Did you not bring any of your handmaids this time?”
Smiling, Sister As You Wish said, “Why are you suddenly thinking of those maids, because your arm hasn’t healed yet and you still can’t use chopsticks well?”
Sheng Jian said hurriedly, “It’s not that—“
Sister As You Wish said, “Then why did you ask if the maids have come or not?”
Sheng Jian spied out the window with the corner of his eye and dropped his voice, “I just want to know if it’s okay to talk in here. When you first got here, did you come across anyone familiar?”
Sister As You Wish laughed, “What’s all this, just say what you want, there’s just you and me in this side court. I already explained things to the waiters, there will be absolutely no one coming her to interrupt, so not only is tonight say for talking, it’s safe for anything…”
Sheng Jian gave a wry smile, “My wonderful Big Sis, stop joking around, I’m worried to death and you’re acting like it’s nothing…”
Sister As You Wish erased her smile and said slowly, “Since you don’t find such talk pleasant to hear, then let me first ask you something.”
She paused, eyes fixed on him. “People are saying you took a palm strike from that demon king Killer Star because that demon king knows I can drink and wanted you to think up a way to get us together to test our liquor tolerance, but when you thought up a plan, that demon king mistook it as you trying to trick him and you had a falling out and he hurt you. Now, you tell me the truth, did that really happen?”
Sheng Jian nodded. “That’s right, it really happened. All the waiters in Myriad Blessings Loft saw it clearly, I couldn’t deny it even if I wanted to!”
Sister As You Wish said, “On that point, I’m not blaming you, because anyone who runs into that demon king would have to obey him if he wanted to make it out alive. I know you were forced to think of a plan.”
Sheng Jian took a sip of wine and continued slowly, “Quite the contrary!”
Surprised, Sister As You Wish said, “Quite the contrary?”
Sheng Jian smiled, “Because this matter you could say was all my plan from beginning to end!”
Sister As You Wish looked puzzled. “You mean—“
Sheng Jian smiled again. “You first ought to ask me what I wrote on the table that day. Why did it offend that demon king? Because those two lines are the key to the whole thing.”
Sister As You Wish said, “Did Steward Ai ask you?”
Sheng Jian said, “One of his swordsmen asked.”
Sister As You Wish said, “Did you tell them?”
Sheng Jian said, “I did.”
Sister As You Wish said, “What did you say?”
Sheng Jian said, “I said that the gist of those two lines was this: I wanted that demon king to first find a spot to hide out and not show himself for a while, wait till the Sword King Palace’s people arrived, I would think up a diversion to send them on, then we could rest at ease here and wait for you, Sister As You Wish…”
Sister As You Wish said, “Is that what you wrote?”
Sheng Jian smiled, “More or less, I just left out one little footnote.”
Sister As You Wish said, “What footnote?”
Sheng Jian smiled mysteriously. “I wrote that before that demon king left he should fake a palm strike at me to make it look more believable.”
Stunned, Sister As You Wish said, “What? You mean you saying you were injured was all a hoax?”
Sheng Jian laughed, “Say it a little nicer why don’t you?”
Sister As You Wish was lost in thought for a while before finally looking up and asking, “In that case, you and that demon king are truly, sincerely waiting here for me to appear?”
Sheng Jian said, “You think that part would be false?”
Sister As You Wish’s eyes twinkled and a moment later, she said staring at him, “That demon king is a renowned coldblooded killer, what do you get out of faithfully scheming for him?”
Sheng Jian smiled. “What do you think?”
Sister As You Wish said, “You—“
Sheng Jian said smiling, “Didn’t you come too? Why did you come? What do you get out of coming to see that coldblooded killer demon king?”
Sister As You Wish suddenly sighed faintly and muttered to herself, “For 10,000 taels of gold a person is really willing to do anything, I really have to hand it to you, big brother, for having the nerve…”
She slowly raised her head and side-eyed him, “Then when the time comes, how do we split it?”
※ ※ ※
At noon the next day two strange looking men in tattered clothes suddenly appeared on the public road outside the north gates of Changsha.
One was tall and well-built, the other was short and skinny.
From a distance they looked like a child walking behind an adult, but when you got close it was clear that they were actually roughly the same age, both around thirty.
Though their builds were quite different, their faces were very similar, like they were brothers.
Were they brothers?
Exactly right, the two of them were brothers. Not only were they brothers, they were a pair of brothers quite famous among the jianghu.
The Twin Treasures of Yunmeng.
These brothers’ were famous not only due to their peculiar appearance, but also for their unusual eccentricities.
Though neither of them could read a word and could only count to a thousand, they possessed remarkable martial arts. However, though they knew martial arts, they rarely put it to use unless someone did something to them first. They drifted about all over the place, mostly spending their days working short-term jobs. As long as they had plenty to eat and drink, the brothers would do any work, and they did it well. They just had one failing, which was that they didn’t like to stay in one place for too long. Once the job was done they announced they were leaving and did. No one could urge them to stay.
The most amusing thing about these brothers was that whenever they opened their mouth to speak the other would echo them, as if they were performing a two-man show.
Two sentences out of two people’s mouths, and even though they didn’t always say the exact same words, the meaning was pretty much the same, equal to one person talking and the other repeating them. The brothers didn’t know what saving meant. If they had silver they spent it right away, and when they got hungry they looked for more work.
If they couldn’t find work they took to holding their hands out and begging. They pestered incessantly, using both hard and soft tactics, not giving up till they reached their goal, and they wouldn’t take more than they asked for, just some money for wine, and once they had the money they didn’t even say a word of thanks.
Now the brothers were walking on the public road, and by the looks of them, they were probably hungry again.
The one called Big Treasure walking in the front suddenly stopped, waiting for Second Treasure behind him to catch up. He rubbed his belly and turned and said, “Second Treasure, are you hungry?”
Second Treasure said, “Yes!”
Big Treasure said, “What do we do?”
Second Treasure said, “What a bother.”
Big Treasure said, “We really should have eaten a few more bowls last meal.”
Second Treasure said, “Who said otherwise?”
Big Treasure said, “Then why didn’t you eat more back then?”
Second Treasure said, “I was too full!”
Big Treasure said, “Me too.”
Second Treasure suddenly pointed, “There’s a pavilion up ahead.”
Big Treasure said, “Yep, I saw it too. There really is a pavilion up ahead.”
Second Treasure said, “There’s someone in the pavilion.”
Big Treasure said, “There’s three people.”
Second Treasure said, “We’d better hurry over there.”
Big Treasure said, “The faster they better!”
The brothers really didn’t dillydally, in the blink of an eye they had reached the roadside pavilion.
Sure enough, there were three people inside the wayside pavilion.
Two of the three were farmers, and the other was a young man with a bedroll beside him.
The two farmers were smoking their pipes and chatting, while the young man lay on a stone bench sleeping, an old straw hat covering his face.
Big Treasure went over and nudged the young man with his knee. “Get up fella!”
Second Treasure said, “Hurry up!”
The young man moved the straw hat aside and looked at them drowsily with wide, astounded eyes. “What is it?”
Big Treasure turned to Second Treasure and said, “You want me to or you?”
Second Treasure said, “Whatever.”
Big Treasure said, “How about old method?”
Second Treasure said, “Of course.”
Thereupon Big Treasure turned once more to the young man, “Hey, fella, why were you cursing at me just now?”
Second Treasure added, “Cursing someone totally uncalled for is just unacceptable!”
The young man said in great surprise, “Cursing? When?”
Big Treasure turned again to Second Treasure. “Didn’t you hear him cursing at us?”
Second Treasure said, “Of course I heard it.”
Big Treasure said, “What did he say?”
Second Treasure said, “It was too awful for me to say it.”
Big Treasure turned back. “Fella, did you hear that? You were not only cursing at us, but saying such filthy things that even my brother here can’t say it.”
Second Treasure said, “If I can’t even say it you know it’s really bad.”
The young man rolled his eyes. “Baffling, I was sleeping here and you all just came over, I didn’t even know that you were here, are you all trying to extort me?”
Big Treasure asked Second Treasure, “Second Treasure, look, he guessed it right away!”
Second Treasure said, “Yep, I knew we were dealing with a smart person.”
The young man rolled his eyes, a smile suddenly appearing on his face. He raise his head and sized the brothers up and smiled at them and asked, “What’s your surname?”
Big Treasure said, “My surname is Big, I’m Treasure Treasure. His surname is Second, he’s Second Treasure.”
“He’s my big brother, I’m his little brother.”
The young man smiled, “Nice to meet you.”
Big Treasure asked Second Treasure, “What does nine to meet you mean? How come I’ve never heard anyone say that before?”
Big Treasure thought about this. “He said nine to meet you, that probably means he only has nine taels of silver to give us. I don’t think we need that much.”1
Second Treasure said, “Yeah! I think two or three taels would be plenty.”
The young man gladly stood up and waved this off with a smile. “It’s nothing, it’s nothing, come on, come on. Let’s go drink, you’re my guests no matter how much you drink. I have plenty of silver!”
※ ※ ※
The sun was in the west, but strangely, Killer Star still hadn’t appeared.
Sister As You Wish was beginning to get impatient.
Sheng Jian kept running to the door and looking out, but every time he came back with a frown, obviously not able to think why the Killer Star was so tardy to appear.
Sister As You Wish suddenly looked up. “You think that little demon king was only joking that day and has already forgotten all about it and gone someplace else?”
Sheng Jian said, “I don’t think so.”
Sister As You Wish said, “If not, then why hasn’t he shown up yet?”
Sheng Jian thought about it. “I’m guessing that little demon king might have left the city these past two days on some business and hasn’t yet gotten word that Merciless Gold Sword had taken men over to see me. Because we had a tacit agreement that day that he wouldn’t come out of hiding till Merciless Gold Sword had come. If he didn’t know that Merciless Gold Sword had been here, of course he wouldn’t venture to come out.”
Sister As You Wish nodded but said nothing, as if she were thinking of something else.
Sheng Jian clasped his hands behind his back and paced back and forth, talking to himself, “Actually, I think waiting like this is good. It at least proves that the little demon king didn’t hear what we talked about last night. Gold is great and all, but life is equally important. That little demon king is really not one to mess with. As long as there’s no problem, I’d rather wait a few more days anyway…”
Sister As You Wish still said nothing. After a while, she slowly raised her head. “There’s one thing I still don’t get.”
Sheng Jian stopped pacing. “What?”
Sister As You Wish said, “It’s odd, why is the little demon king randomly killing people, and killing only good people? What’s his goal with all this killing?”
Sheng Jian smiled wryly, “If the people he killed weren’t good people, how could he have ended up being called the Killer Star? I don’t even want to think about that, it just gives me goosebumps!”
Sister As You Wish frowned. “Also, the little demon king’s sect and background is a puzzling mystery. Given the little demon king’s martial arts used to kill these people, clearly none of the major schools outside the Sword King Palace would have been able to turn out a disciple of his ability. But no matter what the relationship is between that demon king and the Sword King Palace, I just can’t figure out where that demon king’s martial arts came from.”
Sheng Jian’s eyeballs shifted about. Suddenly he said “Take it easy, I thought of someone!”
Sister As You Wish gave him her full attention. “Who?”
Sheng Jian said, “The Sabre Grandmaster!”2
Sister As You Wish said, “Sabre Grandmaster Ge Weiyi?”
Sheng Jian said, “Yes, What you said just now reminded me. Besides the late Sabre Grandmaster, I don’t believe there’s anyone else who would be able to train a disciple with such martial arts. At the same time, I suspect that’s also one of the main reasons the Sword King Palace put up such a massive reward to capture the little demon king!”
Sister As You Wish said, “Why?”
Sheng Jian said, “Because everyone knows that the ‘Sabre Grandmaster’ and ‘Sword King’ were sworn brothers back then. Now that Sabre Grandmaster Ge Weiyi is a man of the past, his sword brother the Sword King naturally can’t sit idly by and watch his sworn brother’s successor commit all kinds of outrages!”
Sister As You Wish said, “Then, how do you explain the fact that none of the little demon king’s victims have any sabre wounds on them at all?”
Sheng Jian rubbed his ear. “I haven’t figured that bit out yet, because those victims, like the Four Gentlemen, The Ge Brothers, the Lordson of Jinling, Soulreaver Sword…”
Sister As You Wish shook her head, thinking out loud, “I think that demon king’s martial arts and whether or not he’s the Sabre Grandmaster’s successor are secondary questions. The main question is why is the demon king going all over and killing people? What does he get out of doing that?”
This of course was not a question that Sheng Jian could answer.
Sister As You Wish sighed faintly. “So I’m eight to nine-tenths positive that this demon king is an abnormally intelligent lunatic. He might not even know what he’s been doing these past two years!”
Sheng Jian sighed and gave a wry smile. “Only Big Sis could say something like that.”
Sister As You Wish was taken aback. “You mean I’m wrong? Why is it something only I could say?”
Sheng Jian said, “Because Big Sis, you’ve never met the demon king, so it’s not surprising you might think that way. But once you meet this demon king, Big Sis, I bet you won’t think that way anymore.”
Sister As You Wish said, “Oh? I don’t feel that way at all. What do you think I will think if I see that demon king? I’ll think he was right to kill them, even ought to kill even more, right?”
Sheng Jian sighed again. “I don’t want to argue with you, Big Sis, I only hope you will take those 10,000 taels of gold into consideration, and whatever you do, don’t lower your guard and underestimate this little demon king! Big Sis, if you think this demon king is merely a bloodthirsty madman, or just a libertine with top-notch martial arts, then Big Sis you are sorely mistaken!”
Sister As You Wish smiled winsomely. “Is that right? Then my thinking is the exact opposite of yours. No matter what kind of person this demon king is, as far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t make a bit of difference.”
※ ※ ※
The Twin Treasures of Yunmeng this time could be said to have truly found the right person.
The three of them entered a little tavern near the north gates and in less than a double-hour, like the wind sweeping away the clouds, they had eaten up and drank up everything the little shop had prepared for the afternoon.
When Shen Wuhai went to the counter to pay the bill, Big Treasure craned his neck and covered half his face with his hand and said to Second Treasure furtively, “That guy’s real happy to pay the bill, he must have a lot of silver on him, you think we ought to shake him down again for more?”
Second Treasure nodded. “If we can shake him down again that’d be great, we should take advantage now and eat a bit more, what do we do when we’re hungry again later?”
They were obviously whispering in each other’s ear, but their voices were so loud you could hear them ten steps away.
Shen Wuhai heard them and laughed to himself. When others ran into the Killer Star they shivered in their skin, but these two buffoonish living treasures had taken him for a God of Wealth, it was too wonderful for words.
But these brothers were so charmingly simple, he of course didn’t take this little expense to heart.
So when he came back he didn’t wait for the brothers to open their mouths but cut in first and said, “Let’s go, my itch for wine is not yet scratched. There’s nothing left to eat here, let’s go to another place and have all we can drink again!”
When they got to the second restaurant, Shen Wuhai again ordered a tableful of food and drink and let the brothers eat and drink as much as they wanted
The brothers were naturally ecstatic.
Shen Wuhai was also happy.
This was the first time in two years since entering the Pass that he could eat and drink without being on guard lest the food and drink be spiked.
At the same time, this was the first time he’d drank with others where he drank what he wanted, drank as much or as little as he wanted without having to maintain the drinking mood, without having to pretend to not see through his adversary’s evil intentions, without having to resort to boring small talk or pointless socializing.
So even though he knew there were people at Gathered Worthies Inn across the street from Myriad Blessings Loft right now waiting for him with food and drink ready, he knew that 10,000 taels of gold had a way of making people patient. It didn’t make a bit of difference if he went a day earlier or a day later.
The tableful of food and wine in the blink of an eye was more than half-eaten.
Big Treasure busied himself wolfing down food while constantly sending eye signals to Second Treasure telling him to eat all he wanted, no need to stand on ceremony.
Second Treasure took Big Treasure’s hint and went all out eating as much as he could, but in the end he really ate too much and couldn’t eat any more and pulled a miserable face and looked up and said, “Big Treasure, I’m done, my stomach seems to be getting smaller and smaller, what should I do?”
Big Treasure rubbed his belly. “Yeah, it’s really odd, my stomach’s upset when it’s empty, who knew that eating too much would upset it.”
Shen Wuhai was worried the brothers wouldn’t know restraint and eat themselves sick, so he hurriedly smiled and said, “Don’t eat anymore, let’s take our time drinking instead. When you get hungry again I’ll treat you all again. It’s not good to eat too much at once.”
Second Treasure said, “As long as you promise to treat us again when we get hungry, we’ll do as you say.”
Big Treasure said, “We’ll not only do as you say, we can do something for you, so long as you treat us to eat like this every day.”
Second Treasure asked, “Is there anything you need us to do for you?”
Shen Wuhai said, “Yes.”
Big Treasure said quickly, “What is it?”
Shen Wuhai said, “It’s something not very easy to do, I’ll have to tell you slowly.”
Second Treasure said, “Best to tell us quick!”
Big Treasure said, “Yeah, I don’t care how difficult it is, once us brothers promise you, we’ll definitely be able to do it for you.”
Shen Wuhai nodded. “Alright.”
Second Treasure said, “Well then come on and tell us. If we can do it now we won’t even drink any wine, will just go do if for you right away.”
Big Treasure said, “We’ll come back once we’re done and you can treat us to drink again!”
Shen Wuhai was originally going to tell them he didn’t need them to do this thing right away, but the brothers didn’t let him get a word in edgewise. Second Treasure immediately followed up with, “If we do something for you, and you don’t treat us to drink, better watch out for our fists!”
Big Treasure said, “What Second Treasure says is absolutely true. Us brothers’ two fists can do work, and they can beat people. They have many uses.”
Second Treasure said, “Don’t believe us you can ask around. No one who’s been beaten by us brothers doesn’t know how amazing our fists are!”
Big Treasure raised a fist. “What do you think, fella? Want to try out our fists first to see just how amazing they are?”
Shen Wuhai shrunk back, laughing, “No need to try them out, I can tell by looking. If it weren’t for your amazing fists I wouldn’t have treated you to drink.”
Big Treasure turned to Second Treasure. “Second Treasure, look how easy this guy is to deal with? I haven’t even hit him yet and he’s already scared!”
Second Treasure thought, then suddenly shook his head. “No good, I feel that way’s not reliable enough.”
Big Treasure said, “Then what do you say?”
Second Treasure said, “I think just talk is no good, the best way is to let him take a few good, solid punches. Once he knows our fists are not to be messed with, he won’t dare go back on his word.”
Big Treasure nodded. “You’re right.”
With that, he stood up, rolled his sleeve up, and really did make like he was going to throw a punch.
Shen Wuhai knew these treasured things were simpleminded, doing just what they said they would do. He hurriedly put out his hands to stop them. “Hang on, hang on, listen to what I have to say first…”
Second Treasure put his hand on his shoulder. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, just sit still and Big Treasure won’t hit the wrong spot. As long as he doesn’t hit the wrong spot, I guarantee you won’t die…”
Shen Wuhai was upset and flustered, not sure at the moment what he ought to do. Just as he was feeling boxed in, he suddenly hit upon an idea and lost no time saying loudly, “Hey hey! If you all hurt me, who’s going to treat you to drink in the future?”
That was even more effective than Celestial Master Zhang’s demon suppressing talismans and incantations.
Big Treasure was like a deflated ball as his arm went limp and he stood there dumbfounded. “I never thought of that”
Second Treasure was also surprised. “You’re so right, if we hurt him, we won’t be able to drink wine. If we don’t drink wine, how are we going to get by? Yeah, we can’t do that, can’t do that, Big Treasure, stop, quick.”
Big Treasure looked really disappointed, dejectedly sitting back down. “Alright, we’ve decided not to hit you. What do you want us to do, hurry up and tell us!”
Shen Wuhai said, “Do you two know someone by the name Dagger Within a Smile Sheng Jian?”
Big Treasure said, “No.”
Second Treasure said, “We only know a Squire Cai.”
Big Treasure said, “Yeah, this Squire Cai, Second Treasure knows, and I know him too. We worked at his estate for three months once. He treated us really well, inviting us to eat meat and drink wine every day.”
Second Treasure said, “The wine was always in these big bowls.”
Big Treasure said, “The meat was red-braised pork in these big hunks, fatty and smelled so good.”
Shen Wuhai asked patiently, “Then, do you know where Gathered Worthies Inn is in the city?”
Big Treasure said, “Nope.”
Second Treasure said, “We’ve never stayed at an inn.”
Big Treasure said, “Staying at an inn costs money, we don’t have any money. We only stay at abandoned houses no one lives in and old temples.”
Second Treasure said, “Staying at abandoned houses no one lives in and old temples, you can sleep till whenever you want, so carefree and quite comfortable…”
Shen Wuhai couldn’t help but sigh. He could see it was going to take a long time to explain things to these brothers, and it would do no good to try to rush it.
Therefore, he could only stand up and say, “Come on, let’s go! I know an old temple not far from here. I’ve been staying there several nights already. We’ll buy some food and wine and go over there and wait there and talk it over.”
Notes
- This one is hard cause it’s a pun. He says 久仰 which means nice to meet you, literally “long respected”. It’s pronounced “jiu yang”. Big Treasure misinterprets this as nine taels, which is pronounced “jiu liang”, pretty close. I used nice and nine because that’s the closest I could get to rhyming it, then “to meet you” to be misinterpreted as the money will meet you, as in he will give them the money. It’s the best I could come up with. Puns like this usually can’t be replicated, but I’ll be damned if I’m not going to try.
- 刀聖. 聖 is often mistranslated, especially in the cultivation webnovel community, where you will often find the term “sword saint”, 聖 translated as saint. It CAN mean saint in the context of religious purity, the sacred, the holy. But in the context of one who excels in a particular demon king, such as the martial arts, swordsmanship, calligraphy, poetry, etc., saint is obviously the wrong translation. 聖’s originally meaning is paragon, uniquely endowed, incomparable, so in the context here it means the greatest master of something. 聖 is also translated sometimes as sage, which in certain contexts is correct, meaning a wise one, but when Du Fu is called the “sage of poetry” that is incorrect. He is the grandmaster of poetry, the paragon of poetry. Here I have gone with Sabre Grandmaster because it is the nickname of one purported to be the absolute best with a sabre. See Paul Kroll’s A Student’s Dictionary of Classical and Medieval Chinese or any Chinese language dictionary for these definitions.